I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
