The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
