dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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