toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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