come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
