We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
