yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize