He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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