if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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