she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
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