That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
