I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize