69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
