I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
