8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
