Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
