No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
