You're a womanizer and a bitch.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
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