Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
