be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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