he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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