so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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