We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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