Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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