i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
