i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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