...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Randomize
