Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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