He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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