Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
