Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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