she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
