i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
