i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
