Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
