Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
