Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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