I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
