they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
