I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Randomize
