i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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