my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Randomize
