He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
