It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
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