if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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