you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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