margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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