I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
