I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
