Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I just found a bag of teeth...
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
