I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize