if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
