Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
