not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
