Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize