420 ftw
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
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