i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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