i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
