I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
