An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
