New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
it was like his penis was on wheels.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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