I smell stomach acid.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
