Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
