My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
